Forever An Intern

Sometimes You Just Need Something New

2009-09-07T09:10:00.001-05:00

I have moved my blog to robyncrocker@wordpress.com.

Lists and the Future

2009-09-06T20:08:00.003-05:00

I have decided to go ahead and try this blog out again. I am making no promises, sometimes I just feel like what I say isn't as interesting as I think it is.

My best friend Stephanie came into town this weekend. She is moving to Japan in October so this was the last time that I will see her in a few years (a fact that still has not sunk in yet). She always seems to challenge me. This time it was with lists. She has lists for everything, but my favorite two were her book list and her bucket list. I don't have either, so I have started to put them together. The book list is pretty easy, but the bucket list is becoming a challenge (and is yet to be written).

Here is the start of my book list:
Ann Lammott: Grace Eventually (currently reading)
Francis Chan: Crazy Love
Rob Bell: Jesus Wants to Save Christians Too
Greg Mortenson: Three Cups of Tea

So I am behind the trend on some of the books, don't judge.
______________________________

Have you ever felt like you don't know where you are going in life? I was recently asked if what I am doing now is what I want to do long term and it occurred to me it was not. I love what I am doing right know but I don't want it to be the rest of my life. I just don't know what I want to do. There is so much that I dream of doing I get overwhelmed by it. I should make a list...

The Promise Land

2009-04-30T08:29:00.000-05:00

So lately I have been reading through Joshua (when I don’t know what to read I randomly open the Bible and whatever book it opens to I read). I am still at the beginning, the entering of The Promise Land, Jericho, the sin of Achan etc. I have to admit, I was getting a little self righteous reading through this. The book of Joshua is made possible by the ancestors of the Israelites (their parents and grandparents were supposed to enter the Promise Land but because of their lack of faith they were denied the access so their children, the ones in the book of Joshua, and now entering the Promise Land). I was thinking about how their parents and grandparents lacked faith and I thought about how ridiculous that was. How could you loose faith when you have a cloud guiding you by day and fire guiding you by night, you walked across a sea and watched the water cave on your enemies at just the right time, you are following a “box” that holds God and if you touch you die and you are following a man that has actual audible conversations with God?! Then you read in Joshua that even after their parents, the crossing the Jordan and the fall of Jericho Achan looses faith and steals. They had such a physical relationship with God and yet they lost their faith. I was jealous and thought how much better a follower I would have been and how lucky they were to have all these things. Then I thought about the Disciples and Judas and how he had the Son of God with him and still turned him in for money. And how Peter turned his back on Jesus when he was arrested. How can they do that when they have spent their lives with this man? But then I realized that I do that daily. I have Him with me every day every moment of my life, but there are times that I turn my back and pretend that he isn’t who he says he is or that he isn’t worth it. And I realized that I have no reason to be jealous because he is closer to me know than he was in the Bible. I don’t remember the passage but it talks about how the people in the Bible can’t wait to talk to us about having the Spirit of God living within us. All the people in the Bible that we say we wish we could talk to, can’t wait to talk to us!

mmmm cake?

2009-04-22T20:59:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I sit in my apartment and I smell food. A few thoughts go through my head. Like tonight I smell cake, so my first thought was that my mind was telling me I wanted cake. Then I realized I was still stuffed from lunch so that couldn’t have been it. Then I thought that I was maybe baking a cake that I forgot about. But why would I be baking a cake if I was stuffed? Then after a few more random explanations I realize that my neighbors must be baking a cake. Oh the joys of apartment living.

Bradley Hathaway: Manly Man (excerpt)

2009-04-17T12:26:00.005-05:00

"Like David, I wanna be a man after God's own heart. And I'm not there yet, but I'm past the start. And when people talk, I try to listen. A spirit of compassion, that's my vision. Surely I am a manly man. I want to be loved and have love and give love.

And not just that romantic kind either. Although I am looking for that beauty. Not helpless, but wants to be rescued. The damsel in distress, man, woman, myth, true. I will fight for her, climb the highest tower for her, love her, share with her, delight in her, be her warrior, her protector. She will be my crown and I will be hers. My masculinity will be passed down and affirmed to my sons. And each of my daughters will know they are lovely, and deserving of authentic romance.

Society tells me all day long that I've defined manhood completely wrong. But you ask any honest man, and he will agree. You ask any honest woman, and she too will see, that I am a manly man."

What?!?!?! A Day Off?!?!?!?!

2009-04-10T11:43:00.002-05:00

Ever at that point in life when you just need a vacation? You don’t even need to go anywhere, you just need a day to yourself? I have been at that point for a few weeks now. I have not had a day off in a few months. Literally, everyday I have been working. Needless to say, that made me very tired. So the past few weeks it has been really hard especially because I could not even take a day off or see a day off in my future. I just want one day of rest. And thank God, it is coming now. Monday’s are my day off from Old Navy and the office is closed at the church on Monday. So I was really excited when I realized this. But then yesterday, I was filled with more joy when I wasn’t scheduled at Old Navy Friday or Saturday! That means next week I get a real weekend off! I love how God comes in and provides what you need right in time. I am not really sure if I would have been able to make it another week going the way that I have been. I am just really excited for the next week to have two full days to rest and relax and recharge.

The Forgotten Tour #2-6?

2009-03-31T15:28:00.000-05:00

Okay. So I had this whole plan of writing everyday of the tour. I was going to give an amazing detailed update everyday of what we were doing and the experiences I had. But obviously that did not happen. I wrote a post the first day of tour and now we are headed back to Dallas. Lets just say, it is more busy on tour than you would think. We are sitting in Birmingham Alabama for the night while the driver gets some rest before driving again tomorrow. We are either going to get to Dallas tomorrow night or Wednesday morning. I can’t wait for my bed, my shower, and just to be in my apartment again. I love having my own place and my own time and there has not been much of that lately. But as much as I miss all those things, I have had a lot of fun on this trip. Each venue has brought new experiences and I guess you could say twists. Oronogo was a great night as a starting point. It was fun for me because it was for the most point a familiar place. I went to church there for four years and knew a few people there already. The kids were awesome too. There were about 350 junior and high school kids and they were a lot of fun. Seeing my best friends was pretty amazing too. Friday night we were in Lafayette Indiana. It was a shock going from 350 youth group kids to 40 adults. They were great though. I think they really got the core of the message. They understood the need for us to help those in need. They were ready that night to go out and do something. Nashville was our next stop. We were at Crosspoint Church and they were awesome. They were so accommodating and ready to help us. That night was really cool. I am not sure how many people were there but it seemed like 500 because of their energy. They were so into everything that we were doing. When Kyle came up to the stage they gave him a standing ovation. I think all around it as a favorite night on the trip. Then tonight we were in Atlanta. We were at a coffee shop in the 4th Ward and it was a really cool stop. The coffee shop was really chill and relaxed so it made the presentation pretty different than the venues we usually had. I really liked it though. On Wednesday we have our last stop which is in Colleyville. It will be interesting to see how that one ends up. I am excited to take our message to our home church. I think it will be a great time.

Check out lovingpeople.org and remedy4thisheart.com for more info on the tour!

The Forgotten Tour #1

2009-03-26T14:05:00.000-05:00

So, if you didn’t know already. I am spending the next week touring around the country for Remedy for This Heart. We have stopped in Joplin Missouri and are now on our way to Lafayette Indiana, then to Nashville and Atlanta. Our goal is to get Kyle off the streets. He has been on the streets for 15 years and really wants to get off the streets. My job on the tour is basically the merch girl. I sell the shirts and keep track on the money. So pretty much during this tour my posts will be about the experiences at the merch booth.

Last night was our first night. I don’t think we could have asked for a better opening night. We were at Christ Church Oronogo for the high school and junior high. I think there were about 350 kids there. We raised 1,200 dollars in merch, which is ridiculous. Last night made me even more excited about this tour and what God is going to do. Can’t wait to write as we keep going.

BTW. I got to see some of my best friends last night too. It made the night even more amazing!

Random Thoughts

2009-02-10T12:47:00.004-06:00

Today is one of those days where I am not the sharpest. I think congestion and the continual coughing has finally caught up with my head. So here are some random thoughts:

1. I am sitting in the office right now and it is pretty quiet, except for one noise that murmurs through the office. It is the noise of keyboards typing. I started to think of how quiet Mac keyboards are compared to PC keyboards. I can hear a keyboard 4 cubicles away but can barely hear my keyboard. Thank you Mac for solving this problem. Now if only PC will copy this feature...
2. This weekend I am going to Joplin to see my 4 best friends. Although I am extremely excited to see them, I was also excited to go see a movie at the dollar theater. This was my favorite place to go in Joplin. My excitement was destroyed when I searched the theater online and remembered that it closed down right before the end of school.
3. The last three cd’s I bought have all been artists from England (Keane, James Morrison, and Adele). They are all great cd’s and I might move to England now.
4. Jimmy Eat world is rehearsing for the Clarity Tour right now. It is the 10th Anniversary of the release of the album and to celebrate they are doing a ten concert tour where they will play the album through in its entirety. Of course they are coming nowhere near Texas, but they do Twitter videos of their rehearsal, so it makes me feel a bit better about it. Check it out: here is Lucky Denver Mint: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1139616
5. It makes me laugh to hear people in the office make a big deal about nothing. Like the printers. You would think that someone died when a printer doesn’t work. Calm down people.

That is about it. Real insightful I know.

Burn Out

2009-01-25T19:35:00.004-06:00

So I have spent the last four years of my life studying. And the past two years deeply studying. I never minded it when I was at school. I loved it. It was at many times my favorite part of college. My favorite part of studying is looking at Scripture from the perspective of the original reader. How the tiniest thing, that we skip over, meant so much to them. I loved the symbolism of Jesus' actions and words. I love how Jesus took things from their culture and their life and made them something more, something bigger. When I graduated, it abruptly stopped. Sadly, it was almost a relief. As much as I loved to study, it was still a burden due to the grades that came along with it. I didn't want to pick up a book or a commentary for a long time. I was burnt out and I didn't realize it till I was away from it. I even started to think that I didn't like reading anymore. (I didn't stop believing in God, or question my faith. I just thought that believeing was good enough for me and I spent four years studying and I did my time) So after six months of not picking up a book I started a new kind of book. A book that was for fun. I started reading the Twilight series (No, this post isn't about how amazing the books are or how Edward Cullen is perfect). All the sudden I enjoyed reading again. Now that I read all four books, I decided to try reading a book that was still fun, but not a fictional story. I started reading "Starving Jesus." I love reading it again. I feel like I am enjoying studying again, and it isn't for a grade, it is for fun. So don't knock Twilight or me for liking Twilight, it made me enjoy reading and enjoy studying once again.

Habit

2008-12-13T09:21:00.000-06:00

In my old room, at my parents house, the light is on the ceiling fan. So every night before I went to bed I would have to reach up above my bed to turn off the light. Here I don't have one. My light is by my bed so I have to reach over. I have been here for almost 6 months now, yet I still find myself reaching above my bed every night to turn off the light.

Also, just talked to my sister yesterday. My sister, who hasn't gone to church willingly since jr. high, said that she wanted to go to church when my dad was in Indianapolis a few weeks ago. The only problem being that she didn't feel comfortable leaving Liam in the nursery. I am praying that when we are there for Christmas she will want to go again.

2008-11-28T19:27:00.000-06:00

Today I made it through 12 hours of black Friday. I worked from 6am to 6pm (the whole time on a register). I have to admit at about 3pm I thought I wasn't going to make it, but I persevered and got through it. Here are my 3 biggest pet peeves of the day:

1. Managers not keeping track of time and making me take my 30 minute break 10 minutes after my 15 minute break. (that left 31/2 hours of straight register time).
2. People not reading the sale signs. (that means when they get to the register if they have 10 items they only get 3)
3. The people that grab everything they want then when up at the register they have you price check everything (the price comes up on the register for them, I don't want to say every price for them) then they take 10 minutes to decide what they are actually going to get (while I am standing there trying to figure out what to scan to make the process a bit faster) then them only getting two or three things because of pet peeve #2.

That will be all I say about Black Friday. Really it wasn't horrible, just really long.

Pay It Forward

2008-11-18T22:06:00.000-06:00

2008-11-17T12:50:00.000-06:00

Quotes of the day:
"America has a need for speed, hot, nasty, bad ass speed" - Eleanor Roosevelt.
"It's not my fault my mom got it on with a photographer!" Trevor Devage

These are some of the reasons I love to office out at Roanoke. More to come later. I am sure of that.

3 1/2 Hours

2008-11-10T19:46:00.000-06:00

So this afternoon I painted, 3 1/2 hours later this is what happened:

I painted 3 different colors and then decided that it was too bold and since it was watercolor I added more water then wiped it off. What was a disaster actually turned out pretty nice (at least that is what I think).

Alright. It is pouring outside and I am getting a little nervous. Thunderstorms are not as much fun when you live alone on the 3rd floor of an apartment building!

Obamanation?

2008-11-04T11:19:00.000-06:00

Forgive me if I am wrong, but isn't it kind of a self absorbed view to think that if Obama becomes President it is going to be the end of the world? Today in the office all the ladies are talking about how depressed they are because they are pretty sure Obama is going to win. But they are excited because they are sure that Obama winning will bring the return of Christ. It seems to me that that is a narrow point of view. The United States of America is not the only nation in the world. There are billions of other people in the world and hundreds of other nations (some with worse leaders). The election is a big deal, but is it really that big of a deal? I think the ladies in the office need to chill out.

You Don't Go To Christmas, Christmas Comes to You!

2008-10-29T13:14:00.000-05:00

So every Sunday I catch up with my family. My mom calls me and I talk to her and my dad and my little brother. Sometimes me and my little brother don't really have anything big to talk about so we just make up stories. Well, really, he makes up the stories. This Sunday the story came along when he asked me if I was going to Christmas. I told Sean that of course I was and that you don't go to Christmas but that Christmas comes to you. It was a cheesy comment that we both laughed at. Then the light bulb went off in his head. He decide that it was such a cheesy comment that it had to be made into a Christmas movie. One that the line was really the whole movie. It would capture the hearts of Americans. Especially because my brother decided that there would be flashing messages that would brainwash every person that watched the movie into buying more copies of the movie. It would be like how my mom buys us Burt's Bees Chapstick every year but a movie instead. I always have a left over tube from the last Christmas but then i get more and it is a never ending cycle. This time it will be the movie. So instead of having a bunch of chapstick they will have a bunch of the same movie. And Sean and I will be rich and i think he added something in about taking over the world...whatever. This is why I love my brother. Who else would think of this stuff?

Politics

2008-10-12T21:30:00.000-05:00

Part of me wants Obama to win the election. Most of that is for the mere fact that I am tired of actors and actresses talking so much crap about how bad the country is and how Obama is going to change the world. I want them to be quiet for at least four years. I am sure that will never happen though. Then there is that part of me that wants them not to get their way. I can't see many of them having a good grasp on what is going on in the country. I think that actors and actresses shouldn't be able talk politics. They are here to entertain us. So shut up and entertain us.

Artistic

2008-10-03T16:31:00.001-05:00

I have always wanted to be artistic. In high school I figured out that music would not work no matter how much I like music. I accepted that and moved on. In college I tried painting. I really like painting I just don't think I am very good. I am not inspired by it. However, I was at the store the other day and decided on a whim to try it again. This is what happened.

Not so good. I can have the picture in my head but it just doesn't translate on the canvas. So, I am still trying to find my artistic niche. I am thinking it has something to do with colors because I really like combining different color combinations. Maybe interior design. That is a hard one to figure out though. I may like it but I wont know till I have a blank room and the resources to decorate it. I think I could be good at it though.

Going "Home"

2008-09-30T09:39:00.000-05:00

I made my first visit back to Katy since I moved out. There were a few things I didn’t realize I missed so much.

1. My Dog. I didn’t realize how much I missed Dexter until I walked in the door and he was so excited to see me. He got so excited he started to whimper and then he did not really know what to do so he just sat back down until I came and pet him. I think I pet him more this weekend than he has been pet in the past week.
2. My Mom. We spent all Saturday morning shopping. My mom usually doesn't do stuff like that. We are not really a shopping all day family but it was fun. I can tell she misses having a girl in the house.
3. My Brother. You have to know him well to know this, but he is hilarious. He does impersonations. He has a Russian voice and a Quagmire (sp?) voice and he can do Tim Gunn. All weekend I would randomly ask him to talk in one of the voices.
4. Cable TV. I am poor and do not have cable so it is always a treat to be able to watch MTV and Vh1. Also my parent's recently switched to Comcast so we have Direct TV. This means tons of movies whenever you want them.
5. Couches. I mean, I have my own couch but I love my parent’s couches. They are over sized and over stuffed and they kind of swallow you up when you sit on them. Saturday after shopping I laid down and did not get up for a while. You loose track of time on them so I am not sure how long I laid down.

Overall, it was a trip that made me realize that my parent’s house is not my house anymore. I felt like I was visiting for the weekend and not going home for the weekend. Going to Grace on Sunday made me realize that is not my home church anymore. But it was a good trip because I know that I am supposed to be here. Not that I questioned if I am supposed to be here but it is always good to be reinforced.

Lindsey Lohan....Really?

2008-09-18T19:11:00.001-05:00

This is an article about Lindsey Lohan and her disapproval of Sarah Palin.

Punchy Lohan Slams Palin as 'Narrow-Minded Homophobe'
Lindsey Lohan's online missives have come a long way from the days when she offered to "release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press ... simply to state my oppinions [sic] on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country."

Now, with a little help from inamorata Samantha Ronson, she's penned a surprisingly coherent diatribe on Sen. John McCain's vice presidential running mate, Gov. Sarah Palin, which she says was sparked by her "fear, anxiety, concern, disappointment and stress" and her inability to "bite my tongue any more."

"Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?" the Barack Obama-supporting actress, 22, rails on her myspace page. "Is our country so divided that the Republicans' best hope is a narrow-minded, media-obsessed homophobe?"

She goes on to cite an Associated Press story about how Palin's longtime church in Wasilla, Alaska, promoted a conference "that promises to convert gays into heterosexuals through prayer."

And while Lohan says, "I am not against Sarah Palin as a mother or woman," she points out that "women have come a long way in the fight to have the choice over what we do with our bodies. ... And it's frightening to see that a woman in 2008 would negate all of that."

She adds that she "would have liked to have remained impartial; however, I am afraid that the 'lipstick on a pig' comments will overshadow the issues. ... I have faith that this country will be all that it can be with the proper guidance. I really hope that all of you make your decisions based on the facts and what feels right to you in your heart -- vote for Obama!"

Alas, LiLo then undoes much of her earlier eloquence by concluding, "Oh, and ... hint hint Pali-pal -- don't pose for anymore tabloid covers, you're not a celebrity, you're running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY! And in the words of Pamela Anderson, 'She can suck it.'".... (msn.com)

I just think Lindsay Lohan is ridiculous. Oh and Barack Obama also posed for the cover of a tabloid mag. So I am not really sure what she is talking about.

I guess this kind of gives a different perspective of what people think about Christians though.