I have decided to go ahead and try this blog out again. I am making no promises, sometimes I just feel like what I say isn't as interesting as I think it is.
My best friend Stephanie came into town this weekend. She is moving to Japan in October so this was the last time that I will see her in a few years (a fact that still has not sunk in yet). She always seems to challenge me. This time it was with lists. She has lists for everything, but my favorite two were her book list and her bucket list. I don't have either, so I have started to put them together. The book list is pretty easy, but the bucket list is becoming a challenge (and is yet to be written).
Here is the start of my book list: Ann Lammott: Grace Eventually (currently reading) Francis Chan: Crazy Love Rob Bell: Jesus Wants to Save Christians Too Greg Mortenson: Three Cups of Tea
So I am behind the trend on some of the books, don't judge. ______________________________
Have you ever felt like you don't know where you are going in life? I was recently asked if what I am doing now is what I want to do long term and it occurred to me it was not. I love what I am doing right know but I don't want it to be the rest of my life. I just don't know what I want to do. There is so much that I dream of doing I get overwhelmed by it. I should make a list...
So lately I have been reading through Joshua (when I don’t know what to read I randomly open the Bible and whatever book it opens to I read). I am still at the beginning, the entering of The Promise Land, Jericho, the sin of Achan etc. I have to admit, I was getting a little self righteous reading through this. The book of Joshua is made possible by the ancestors of the Israelites (their parents and grandparents were supposed to enter the Promise Land but because of their lack of faith they were denied the access so their children, the ones in the book of Joshua, and now entering the Promise Land). I was thinking about how their parents and grandparents lacked faith and I thought about how ridiculous that was. How could you loose faith when you have a cloud guiding you by day and fire guiding you by night, you walked across a sea and watched the water cave on your enemies at just the right time, you are following a “box” that holds God and if you touch you die and you are following a man that has actual audible conversations with God?! Then you read in Joshua that even after their parents, the crossing the Jordan and the fall of Jericho Achan looses faith and steals. They had such a physical relationship with God and yet they lost their faith. I was jealous and thought how much better a follower I would have been and how lucky they were to have all these things. Then I thought about the Disciples and Judas and how he had the Son of God with him and still turned him in for money. And how Peter turned his back on Jesus when he was arrested. How can they do that when they have spent their lives with this man? But then I realized that I do that daily. I have Him with me every day every moment of my life, but there are times that I turn my back and pretend that he isn’t who he says he is or that he isn’t worth it. And I realized that I have no reason to be jealous because he is closer to me know than he was in the Bible. I don’t remember the passage but it talks about how the people in the Bible can’t wait to talk to us about having the Spirit of God living within us. All the people in the Bible that we say we wish we could talk to, can’t wait to talk to us!
Sometimes I sit in my apartment and I smell food. A few thoughts go through my head. Like tonight I smell cake, so my first thought was that my mind was telling me I wanted cake. Then I realized I was still stuffed from lunch so that couldn’t have been it. Then I thought that I was maybe baking a cake that I forgot about. But why would I be baking a cake if I was stuffed? Then after a few more random explanations I realize that my neighbors must be baking a cake. Oh the joys of apartment living.
"Like David, I wanna be a man after God's own heart. And I'm not there yet, but I'm past the start. And when people talk, I try to listen. A spirit of compassion, that's my vision. Surely I am a manly man. I want to be loved and have love and give love.
And not just that romantic kind either. Although I am looking for that beauty. Not helpless, but wants to be rescued. The damsel in distress, man, woman, myth, true. I will fight for her, climb the highest tower for her, love her, share with her, delight in her, be her warrior, her protector. She will be my crown and I will be hers. My masculinity will be passed down and affirmed to my sons. And each of my daughters will know they are lovely, and deserving of authentic romance.
Society tells me all day long that I've defined manhood completely wrong. But you ask any honest man, and he will agree. You ask any honest woman, and she too will see, that I am a manly man."
Ever at that point in life when you just need a vacation? You don’t even need to go anywhere, you just need a day to yourself? I have been at that point for a few weeks now. I have not had a day off in a few months. Literally, everyday I have been working. Needless to say, that made me very tired. So the past few weeks it has been really hard especially because I could not even take a day off or see a day off in my future. I just want one day of rest. And thank God, it is coming now. Monday’s are my day off from Old Navy and the office is closed at the church on Monday. So I was really excited when I realized this. But then yesterday, I was filled with more joy when I wasn’t scheduled at Old Navy Friday or Saturday! That means next week I get a real weekend off! I love how God comes in and provides what you need right in time. I am not really sure if I would have been able to make it another week going the way that I have been. I am just really excited for the next week to have two full days to rest and relax and recharge.
Okay. So I had this whole plan of writing everyday of the tour. I was going to give an amazing detailed update everyday of what we were doing and the experiences I had. But obviously that did not happen. I wrote a post the first day of tour and now we are headed back to Dallas. Lets just say, it is more busy on tour than you would think. We are sitting in Birmingham Alabama for the night while the driver gets some rest before driving again tomorrow. We are either going to get to Dallas tomorrow night or Wednesday morning. I can’t wait for my bed, my shower, and just to be in my apartment again. I love having my own place and my own time and there has not been much of that lately. But as much as I miss all those things, I have had a lot of fun on this trip. Each venue has brought new experiences and I guess you could say twists. Oronogo was a great night as a starting point. It was fun for me because it was for the most point a familiar place. I went to church there for four years and knew a few people there already. The kids were awesome too. There were about 350 junior and high school kids and they were a lot of fun. Seeing my best friends was pretty amazing too. Friday night we were in Lafayette Indiana. It was a shock going from 350 youth group kids to 40 adults. They were great though. I think they really got the core of the message. They understood the need for us to help those in need. They were ready that night to go out and do something. Nashville was our next stop. We were at Crosspoint Church and they were awesome. They were so accommodating and ready to help us. That night was really cool. I am not sure how many people were there but it seemed like 500 because of their energy. They were so into everything that we were doing. When Kyle came up to the stage they gave him a standing ovation. I think all around it as a favorite night on the trip. Then tonight we were in Atlanta. We were at a coffee shop in the 4th Ward and it was a really cool stop. The coffee shop was really chill and relaxed so it made the presentation pretty different than the venues we usually had. I really liked it though. On Wednesday we have our last stop which is in Colleyville. It will be interesting to see how that one ends up. I am excited to take our message to our home church. I think it will be a great time.
Check out lovingpeople.org and remedy4thisheart.com for more info on the tour!